The Perfect Weekend...

Goes like this:

1. Rent a car from Thrifty.com, and get a free upgrade because you chatted up the irate customer that burst into the office, and let him deal with his business before you. Instead of an economy car like a Yaris, or worse, a Taurus *shudder*, we got to drive a beautiful silver Jeep Liberty around all weekend! I totally forgot to take a photo of it... drat.

2. Drive up the 400 and the 11, through beautiful Central Ontario, with two of the awesomest people you know. Stop at Weber's Burgers and marvel at jocks marveling over a "Lambo". Man, were those burgers good. The perfect size, and the fries were so crispy- they tasted like chips! The Lambourghini was alright too. At one point I yelled out, "Yeah it's mine! It's no big deal." We all had a good laugh.

3. Arrive at the most beautiful cottage you've ever seen, at which you get to stay in the sweet "treehouse", or what I lovingly refer to as "upstairs" (there are like, 50 steps up). Honestly, it's like a suite in a hotel, but with an awesome deck looking over the incredible main house, and beyond that is Lake Muskoka. Nuff said.

4. Revisit Benny & Joon, or more importantly, Johnny Depp at the beginning of his career. Fuck, he's hot. Perfect. *drool* Hubba hubba.

5. Wake up and discover cottage cheese. I can't believe I've never really liked cottage cheese before! Maybe when I was younger, I had some bad cottage cheese or something, and an aversion was the result. But it's good! Especially with fruit, and a bagel. Yum!

6. Go and pick up another one of the most awesome people you know at the cutest train/bus station ever. I'm glad James came up with us... he's always good for a laugh! Especially when he's hurling himself off of the boat house into the lake!

7. Eat fabulous food all weekend, and mostly fat free too! My menu consisted of salmon burgers, roasted vegetables, corn on the cob, steak, salad, pancakes with fresh fruit and syrups, sandwiches made of fresh bread, turkey, ham, swiss, veggies, and crazy mustard spreads. And for dessert... strawberry/rhubarb sauce in phyllo pastry with frozen vanilla yogurt.

8. Drink nothing but alcohol. Okay, that was last weekend, and so this weekend I took a bit of a breather. I switched from beer to vodka/water with a splash of juice. That way, the water hydrates you while you're getting nice and inebriated. Being in the sun helped! It's crazy how much faster the booze hits you when you're basking.

9. Play some Asshole. You know what I mean. The card game. Also, kick everyone's ass as Asshole. Yessssssssss!

10. Sleep in. I love sleeping. What I love even more... not waking up to an alarm. It's such a peaceful start to the day. Sleep in really soft sheets, in a queen bed, with pillows all around you.

11. Swim in the lake until your fingertips look like raisins. Blow up every inflatable thing in the boat house and try to sit on it in the water. Overcome fear of jumping into water from boat house garage (which doubles as the sundeck), which is 15' above the surface. It was scary. I would only do it once.

12. Relaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. On plushy couches, surrounded by art that epitomizes "at the cottage". Even, or perhaps especially, Scare Bear. Dammit- I didn't take a picture of Scare Bear!!

13. Remember your humility by performing some manual labour for your hosts. Wood is heavy, and scratchy, and dirty. But it had to be done! And there's something so honest in stacking fire wood. I still can't believe how much it cost to buy it all- over $300- for 1/3 of their winter supply.

14. Visit "neighbours" and watch cute boys wakeboard. And meet the cutest of puppies in all the world! Again, I'm a loser and don't have a photo of Otis.

15. Get safely home in plenty of time to watch some Futurama and King of the Hill on Teletoon.

The only shitty thing about this weekend? I got a ticket for parking on the boulevard in front of my house. Actually, it's the frickin' driveway, and as if it's illegal to park on the strip of driveway between the sidewalk and the street, even though the sidewalk is unblocked and you're 5' away from the curb! Cars SUCK. As Maria said, "They suck your money." And as I replied, "The suck the breathe right out of you." Bah!

posted by Unknown @ 8:50 p.m.